I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
