Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you win again, gameday.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
