i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
