Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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