We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Can Purell be used as lube?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
