I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
