I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
