Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
