somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
