At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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