the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
