I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
