So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
