New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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