Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
