i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
third nipple confirmed
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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