dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
