I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
