nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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