Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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