This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Couch. On fire.
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