Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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