My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
