There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
