My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
