dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
