it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
