We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
