if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
