There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize