I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
