He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
love makes seman taste better
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
