She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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