I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
