Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
