you win again, gameday.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
