I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
