I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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