I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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