They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think i peed on brittanys purse
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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