only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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