I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
