I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
