How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
