he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
