no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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