How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
