I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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