At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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