after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
