so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
