My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
