So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Boobs are out for the taking
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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