and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
the liver wants what the liver wants
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
