i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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