one might say we're banned from that church
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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