were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
