it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
