She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
