your parents love me but you hate me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
