problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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