ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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