just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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