Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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